When Life Doesn't Turn Out How You Plan It

I know this isn’t my typical bridal content and I’ve been quiet on here for quite some time. Work and life have truly taken over. I’m not sure how many people will read this, but it is something worth sharing.

I was supposed to get engaged by next spring. I am now single, almost 29, and possibly embarking on a new career journey. My life feels like it is falling apart at the seams, as friends of mine become established in careers they love, have found their other halves, and basically are doing what I believed I should be doing at this age. Life truly ripped the rug out from under me.

I know this is the perfect time to heal not only from the breakup, but my 20s as a whole (they’ve been um…rough), the perfect time to explore a new career if I want to (hey, no man, no family, just me!), and pour into my other relationships, but that doesn’t make it any easier. As a woman of faith I find myself asking God why and how and when and where a lot. But I know I am not alone, you may be in the same place if you clicked on this post.

So after prayer journaling my thoughts out, I naturally got on TikTok and came across a video of Shay Mitchell on a podcast talking about how she mourned a chapter of her life that ended when she got pregnant. No longer would she be who she was. And it came to me. I had completely missed an entire chapter of my life. I worked and worked and worked in college, I struggled through disordered eating, a soul-crushing job, anxiety, depression, and a general apathy for life after I graduated. I really didn’t have that enjoyable time of being single in my twenties. Of fun trips with friends, dinners, doing my own thing. Exploring new interests and places. Sure, I did some of that, but there was a heavy cloud over all of it.

Maybe God is graciously giving me the gift of restoring a missed chapter in my book of life. Maybe one day I will be lucky enough to mourn a chapter that has come and gone, rather than mourn a chapter I never even got to live. After all, when you skip chapters, the story doesn’t make much sense, now does it.