Hi Everyone!

Hope you’re all hanging in there with this crazy time we are living in, staying safe, staying healthy, and staying home. I’ve had a WILD few months or so since January, so please pardon the big gaps between posts. My dream one day is that this can be my full time job so I can give you all the bridal content all the time, but until then, I’m doing my best!

This week’s interview is with Bryan Rafanelli of Rafanelli Events. If you aren’t familiar with Bryan, he has been named one of the top event planners in not only the US, but the WORLD. Yes, the entire world. At Preston Bailey’s PB Live, we not only chatted about how to not get caught up in trends when planning an event, but also how to entertain at home. For more event inspo, make sure to check out Bryan’s new book, A Great Party: Designing the Perfect Celebration. Without further ado, let’s get into the interview!!

Do you have any tips for not getting too caught up in the trends and really thinking for yourself when planning an event?

My tip is to tell your own story. Sit down and really make it uniquely yours. So what are the things that you like? Start there and perhaps, make a collection of all of the photos on Instagram you like and all that, but test back to what you say. “I want it to feel elegant, intimate…” What does elegant mean? Can you define that? “I want lots of energy.” Can you define that? How would you answer that question so you can keep testing back. That’s what we do as professionals. We listen to our clients and what they say, and then we’ll bring it back and say, “The reason we’re showing you hot pink and bright green is because you said you wanted an energetic party.” It’s using common sense in a way, you just don’t look at it that way because you get so caught up in the fantasy of what other people are doing.

Yeah I feel like brides know what they want but then they see a picture of something and then they get completely derailed and it turns into a whole fiasco. I used to be in dress sales and it happens with the dress all the time. Do you have any tips for having a great party at home? Maybe for newlywed couples?

Yes! Doing a party at home is all about planning every single thing. Think through every single thing: how much time it’s going to take, when you’re going to have to do it during the party, so that you can remain present. I think the reason why people have parties at home is because they want people in their home, but the trap is that you end up being so busy running your party that you’re not with your friends. So being really thoughtful about, “I’m going to ice down the wine, I’m going to make sure there’s enough ice, I’m going to make sure that everything is handy, that I can grab it when I need it…” So it’s this idea of having extra stuff. “I need more cocktail napkins, I need more glasses.” Get it out there, so it’s almost like it’s a self-serve party, but it’s not. That’s okay because that means there may be one thing you’re going to have to fix at your own party, but all the rest is laid out, and you’re there. And that’s what people want when they come to your home. They want to be with you. They don’t want to watch you become a waiter.

Yeah, and then it kind of feels impersonal and then people don’t enjoy it…

Yeah and you’re stressed and you feel like you weren’t a guest at your own party in your house.

Yeah that’s why people get weird around the holidays…I know you were explaining during your segment that through working with the non-profits that’s how you get clients in other areas. Do you have any networking tips, especially for someone who is more on the shy side or is hesitant about meeting new people?

Probably the simplest thing you can do is go to an improv class and force yourself to role play. You can do this with your friend, with your mother, with your colleague — role play. If you’re shy, I used to be shy, that’s the number one thing I’ll say to somebody who is new to my company. Take an acting class. They have to get out of their shell. They just have to find the courage. And you’ll do it if you’re forced to do it. It’s really interesting. We’re actually doing a birthday party a couple of weeks from now and we’re bringing an improv troupe in, and it’s going to be fascinating. The whole family is going to be there. They have five kids. The youngest is actually pretty quiet because she’s the youngest, but it’s going to involve everyone and I think that’s what is really key to it. So I always say, you want to do something that is going to make you uncomfortable, but you want the tools to do it. When you think about it, you practice for a marathon, you train. Why not train to network?

That’s a good idea I’ll have to try that! I can be on the more shy side, but I have a thing where I try to at least to talk to one person I don’t know and that brings me out of my shell.

Are there any elements of a wedding or event that you feel are overlooked?

My mind goes to tall the things that people overthink, so the idea of overlooked is a stumper! I think that people don’t understand time. They don’t understand how fast it goes. They don’t understand what four hours really looks like. And a good wedding planner, or again you can do this at home, but it’s probably not an exercise you do, is you basically saying, “Okay, I’m going to spend this much time doing this. I’m going to spend this much doing that. If I go table to table and say hello to all my friends…” which I’m not a big fan of by the way (me neither). But that’s going to take a lot of time and all you have is time. And people, I think, will feel your gratitude by you enjoying your party and not by you constantly thanking them or speechifying. I think that’s more important to people, that you had an amazing time and not so much that they had an amazing time. I always joke about this with guest gifts. Like okay so you entertain 200 people for a whole weekend, pay for everything, have amazing entertainment, drive them everywhere, and then you give them a gift? It’s like come on, no! They are there for you and they want you to be celebrating your special day, and I do think that people don’t completely understand that. Perhaps that’s what is overlooked. They really just want you to have a good time and they’re giving up their time, which I think is very generous, but they choose to do that. You’re no making them do that. They came. They’re respecting you. So, enjoy that.

One last question. Team all-white wedding or team color?

My answer is yes!

I should specify, well done color.

Look I think a little touch of color is important to create a depth of a design. When everything is white, it actually can start to look gray. And that’s why you have to be careful about an all-white wedding. And in fact it can look cheap when it might not be. It might tip so far into fairy tale that it’s just not right. But I love bright hot colors if you’re a bright hot color person. But I don’t like it to just do it. That’s why a touch of color to me, blush or really light light light yellow or even some pale greens in the roses, that kind of thing—when you look at the images later on you’ll see there’s sort of a depth that no one is going to turn around and say, “Oh your wedding was green” right? They’re not going to say it was blush. They won’t see it but it’s there.

I’ve notice that in social media. All white floral photos, sometimes you’re looking and you can’t tell what you’re looking at. Is it a table? What is going on?

In art class you do those exercises of figure ground. What’s black, what’s white, what’s grey, what’s white…So you go through all of those exercises and that depth of color. That’s what artists do. So if you think about the room as a painting, there has to be light and dark. It can’t just all be light. That takes an extraordinarily talented person like Preston Bailey and an extraordinary budget.

Photo: Allan Zepeda

Thanks Bryan for your time! I hope you were all able to take something away from this interview. To see more of his amazing work, check out his Instagram here.

Next up in my PB Live interview series is Ali Barone Events! Stay tuned!