A Dose of Wedding Advice, Tough Love Style
Hey everyone!
Hope you are all doing well, staying healthy, and staying sane. I’m finally getting back into the swing of things over here with the blog.
For those of you with weddings coming up, I’m sure you are probably sick of reading things about how to re-plan your wedding, have a micro-wedding, etc. so I won’t be serving up any of that information today (although by all means if that is something you would like to read, please let me know in the comments, and I will totally provide it).
Today’s topic is all about challenging the wedding status-quo. As usual, if you disagree with something on this list, please do not be offended. In all honesty, I may change my mind about these by the time my big day comes. I’m just trying to challenge your thought process here when planning your wedding. This post is born out of my frustration when I hear people utter common misconceptions about weddings such as, “Well, I have to do that because it’s a tradition.” STOP. THE. MADNESS. PEOPLE. I am sometimes baffled, yes, baffled, by the things I hear people say. I don’t know what magical fairy made up “the wedding rules,” but she is irrelevant from this moment forward because, well, I said so. So without further ado, here are common things I have heard and my responses to them (which sometimes stay in my head, and sometimes are spoken out loud). Buckle up people. There is some tough love in here.
I am going to use “insert generic walking down the aisle song here” for my walk down the aisle.
PEOPLE!!!! If you REALLY, TRULY, EARNESTLY love this song, then you do you! The song is obviously popular for a reason. If you are literally just choosing it because it is easy and popped up on the first search result on Google, please reconsider. There are so many beautiful songs to choose from. I challenge you to pick something that either has meaning for you as a couple, is a song you like from a musical/show/etc. that would make sense, or is an homage to a family member who is no longer living but had an impact on your life. It is these personal touches that make a difference and set your wedding apart from everyone else’s.
My cousin/friend/sister/co-worker “had this color bridesmaids gowns/had this color flowers/got married in this month/chose a gown that looked similar to this/etc.” so I can’t.
Is your cousin (or whoever) a dictator? Does she/he have dominion over your life? If the answer to either or both is yes, you have deeper issues that planning a wedding. Otherwise, please do whatever you darn well please. Are you really going to not have black bridesmaids gowns because your cousin did and then look back five years from now with regret because you settled for blush?
I don’t really like cake, but you need a cake.
I mean as long as your guests have something sweet does it matter? Cut something else. Pizza, a loaf of bread? Heck! Don’t cut anything. Feed each other ice cream, share a milkshake, switch it up! I promise you the apocalypse won’t come because you didn’t stick a utensil into a pastry at your wedding.
All of the toasts, etc. have to be in a particular order.
I will tell you, many wedding pros I have talked to have said that switching up your timetable from the standard is a great way to set your wedding apart. This sentence is probably the most chill portion of this blog post. Enjoy it while it lasts.
I have to skip my cocktail hour to take pictures.
Nope. No you don’t. In fact, I plan on being at mine so I can say hi to everyone then and don’t have to go around to tables for five thousand years during dinner or doing the dreaded receiving line. Just tell your photographer to keep it short and sweet, ex-nay the hair/makeup change that you will probably look back on and say was unnecessary, or do a first look to get the majority of the photos out of the way before the ceremony starts. Also let’s be honest…cocktail hour food > dinner food.
I have to have this person in my bridal party because I was in hers/his.
I should have been in this person’s bridal party because I am a family member/they have to be in my bridal party because they are family.
Okay so for the first one, I can understand this is very touchy. However, it depends on many factors, such as if you guys are still close and honestly if you were ever close to begin with. Now for the second one!! Sometimes friends are indeed, closer to you than your family members. Just because they are family does not mean they need to be in your wedding or that you should be in theirs. Be honest with yourself. Do you even talk to this person on a somewhat regular basis? If not, check yourself before you get all offended OR feel obligated to have someone in your bridal party.
And lastly I will ask you a very important question. Do you REALLY like xyz, or are you just picking it because everyone else is? It is so okay to go in the complete opposite direction of what is trending. Honestly nothing bothers me more than someone who just blindly chooses something because everyone else likes it, not because they actually like it. And this may seem woo-woo and whack, but maybe you can get to know yourself deeper through your wedding planning process. Really ask yourself if you like something, are just blindly choosing things based on trends, or if you’re trying to please other people. It’s like those people who have eaten a food for years and then one day have an epiphany that they don’t even like it. Know thyself and plan your wedding accordingly. Now I will say, don’t pull an “IT’S MY DAYYYYYYYYY” because people are coming to your wedding and you’ll want them to enjoy it also. If you love heavy metal music and only play that, chances are your guests won’t be having the best time (unless they all happen to love it too). It’s all a balance people!
